Eltingville - Staten Island

Sea Serpents, Steven Seagal and more escaped ponies.

I spent an inordinate amount of time this week watching Steven Seagal clips, a fate I would not wish on my worst enemy. Why, you may ask, would I immerse myself in the excruciating oeuvre of the man frequently cited as one of the worst actors of all time?

It all started earlier this year while researching another Staten Island neighborhood, Sunnyside. One of the leading players in that neighborhood was Grandmaster Kim, a 9th-degree black belt, part-time model, and IHOP franchise owner. My research uncovered a contentious relationship between Grandmaster Kim and movie producer Julius Nasso.

Nasso seemed like an interesting character, and when I looked into him further, I discovered he was a reputed Gambino associate with ties to Steven Seagal—or maybe, a Steven Seagal associate with ties to the Gambino family. Regardless, when I learned that Nasso and Seagal had both resided in the Staten Island neighborhood of Eltingville, I knew I had to write about it.

What sealed the deal for me was a story about a pair of escaped ponies spotted running down a snowy Staten Island thoroughfare during a 2017 blizzard. That story may sound strangely familiar to longtime readers of The Neighborhoods, but surprisingly, these two equine escapees had nothing to do with Razzi and Casper, the pony and zebra that also made a mad dash for freedom some five years earlier in nearby Travis, Staten Island.

DELICATESSEN HANSEN

Eltingville is on the south shore of Staten Island, between Great Kills and Annandale. The long, narrow neighborhood was once called South Side, then Sea Side. There is scant information regarding the Eltings, who the neighborhood is named after, besides the fact that they were Dutch and "prominent."

Despite being named after a Dutch family, the town quickly became an enclave for Scandinavians, particularly Norwegians. For years, scores of Hansens, Ericksons, Nygrens, and Bundesens wandered the herring-scented streets of the neighborhood.

"These names were so common that people in Eltingville would differentiate between families by appending their trade or other defining characteristics with nicknames, such as 'delicatessen Hansen', 'fish Hansen', 'two-family' Hansen."

Patti Hansen, the supermodel who grew up in nearby Tottenville and is currently married to Keith Richards, is the granddaughter of one of the original Eltingville Hansens.

The completion of the Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge in 1964 transformed what had been mostly open farmland into a quasi-suburban neighborhood. Today, you’ll find more spaghetti and meatballs than Swedish meatballs as Eltingville’s Scandanavian population has been largely replaced by an Italian American one.

WHISKEY SKINS

An 1859 article in The Morning Democrat evocatively described a scene in an Eltingville bar (then South Side) in the days leading up to Christmas, was the earliest reference to the area I could find. Why a paper serving the citizens of Davenport, Iowa, would have a reporter (with the pen name Ebenezer Sprout, no less) covering the Staten Island bar scene beat is a mystery.

While in search of a cigar and a place to warm my feet after a long ride on a cold winter’s day, I entered a barroom where a motley group of people were talking loudly, smoking bad cigars, and drinking “whisky skins.”

There is a peculiar method of concocting and imbibing this popular beverage, which I then and there observed. The publican pours some whiskey into a tumbler, to which he adds a little hot water, then a little sugar, then a little stirring about and ramming down with an extensive flourish and a little wooden rammer, and then the skin is properly prepared. The imbiber, after ejecting a huge quid of tobacco and a copious stream of juice, throws back his head, takes it off in a single gulp without even winking, and thus the skin is finally disposed of.

The short article, which left me thirsting for a hot toddy, is worth reading for the cozy drunken scene it sets.

SEA SERPENT

In 1884, in what was perhaps the most exciting event to have transpired in the neighborhood not involving a pony escape, a sea serpent was spotted off the coast of Eltingville.

Town Constable Elbert L. Poillon, who may have recently enjoyed a good whiskey skin or three, noticed a strange, submerged object in the bay. Intrigued, he enlisted the help of oyster planter John Fisher and Fisher’s son, and the trio rowed out to investigate the mysterious sight.

As the men rowed closer, they saw what they described as a sea creature with “a long, black, and thick neck, and a head about the size of a powder keg.” Leaning in for a better view, they were startled when the “monster raised one of its claws, about ten feet long, and, grasping an oar, placed it in its massive jaws and crunched it into pieces” before disappearing into the depths with a serpentine undulation.

The three Eltingvillians, minus one paddle, returned to shore posthaste. While some of their neighbors (and a few newspaper reporters) greeted their account skeptically, the three stood by their story, swearing formal statements about the encounter before the local Justice of the Peace.

Some subtle shade from the Yonkers Statesman

It’s worth noting that, despite the skepticism of the residents of Elingtinville, the existence of sea serpents was widely accepted through the beginning of the twentieth century.

The Washington Times (Washington [D.C.]), 24 April 1904 - Library of Congress

FATAL ATTRACTION

As improbable as an encounter with a 25-foot-long sea creature may sound, it is infinitely more plausible than the plot lines from most Steven Seagal movies.

Seagal, the 7th-degree Aikido black belt who has starred in over 60 films, has his own brand of aftershave (Scent of Action) and once owned a 995-acre northern California farm where he produced a line of aromatherapy oils, used to call Eltingville home.

In the nineties, Seagal bought his Eltingville house to be closer to his one-time partner in crime, Julius Nasso. Dubbed the “Rodgers and Hart” of action movies, for years, the duo were inseparable. In the words of Nasso, "it was like Fatal Attraction without the sex.”

Before entering the motion picture industry, Nasso, who has a degree in pharmacology, started the Universal Marine Medical Supply. Co., the world's largest distributor of pharmaceuticals to ships. He also co-founded a private label vitamin and health supplement manufacturing plant.

The cherry on top? In 1985 (though his website says 1978), Nasso partnered with Xavier Roberts, creator of the Cabbage Patch Doll, and opened the Babyland General Hospital Store on 41st Street and 5th Avenue in Manhattan, a place even crazier than it sounds.

While the dolls, whose immense popularity and scarcity had sparked the infamous “Cabbage Patch Riots” two years earlier, were mass-produced under a licensing deal with Coleco, the babies in this store were entirely handmade, or rather, naturally birthed.

Dr. Michael pulled on fresh rubber gloves and felt the cabbage. He looked under the leaves with a penlight and told the crowd that the mother cabbage had dilated to four leaves open and was about to deliver. He dabbed the cabbage with alcohol, injected it with T.L.C., then with a special ingredient called “Imagicillin.”

The doctor opened the remaining two leaves, as Nurse Gina wiped his brow, then she cut the cord, and Dr. Michael held up a new baby girl. “I don't believe this,” one customer said, “You must,” Nurse Kathleen replied.

Then, in 1987, the pharmacist/cabbage patch doll impresario met Steven Seagal, and the rest is movie-making history.

“TAKE IT TO THE BANK - THE BLOOD BANK”

During a fertile stretch between 1990 and 1997, Seagal/Nasso Productions released nine movies, including Out for Justice, Under Siege, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, The Glimmer Man, and The Patriot, that grossed hundreds of millions of dollars.

These movies are responsible for some of the most memorable lines in cinema history, delivered in Seagal’s trademark monotone, squinty-eyed whisper.

Who could forget, "One thought he was invincible, the other thought he could fly. They were both wrong," from their first collaboration, Marked for Death?

Or this classic from the aptly named Fire Down Below:

"I'll have 300 agents come up here, into this little hick town, and crawl up every orifice you got. When it's over, you can go to your favorite proctologist and get a nice soothing ointment and rub it on the hole that hurts most!"

Things took a dramatic turn in 1997 when Seagal abruptly withdrew from an agreement to produce four additional films with Nasso. Acting on the advice of his Buddhist spiritual adviser, Mukara, Seagal chose to renounce violent movies to remain on what he believed to be the true Buddhist path.

Following Mukara’s advice paid off. Not long after, Seagal was officially recognized as a tulku (an incarnate lama from a past life) by H.H. Penor Rinpoche, the head of the Nyingma lineage of Tibetan Buddhism.

Here is a fantastic and hilarious account of a weekend in 1999 at the Omega Insitute in Rhinebeck, New York, presided over by the newly anointed tulku. I Can’t Believe it’s not Buddha.

UNDER SIEGE

After Seagal closed their production company in 2000, Nasso brought a $60 million breach-of-contract suit against his former partner and neighbor.

To cover his bases, just in case he wasn’t able to get a satisfactory result through the U.S. justice system, Nasso got the Gambino crime family involved. In 2001, Nasso and his brother Vincent invited Seagal to dinner at Gage & Tollner in Downtown Brooklyn. When they were ushered into a back room, surprise guests Anthony “Sonny” Ciccone and Primo Cassarino—both Gambino family members—joined the party and delivered a message that the business relationship was, in fact, not over. The two mobsters told Seagal that he should expect to be paying his former partner $150,000 for any future movies.

Talk of the extortion efforts was picked up in a wiretap operation that had been set up to uncover the Gambino crime family’s control of the Brooklyn and Staten Island waterfront, an operation run by “Sonny” Ciccone.

On June 4, 2002, in a scene worthy of a Scorcese montage, 17 mobsters were arrested in 17 minutes and charged with 68 counts of racketeering, extortion, wire fraud, loan sharking, money laundering, and witness tampering.

Among the 17 arrested was Julius Nasso. The producer was convicted of extorting Seagal, who testified against him in court. Nasso served ten months in prison but didn’t abandon his breach-of-contract lawsuit, which was ultimately settled out of court, with Seagal reportedly paying his former partner $500,000.

THE RETURN OF GRANDMASTER KIM

I mentioned at the top that I learned about the Nasso/Seagal connection through my research on Grandmaster Kim. In 2018, Nasso, who seems to have a thing for suing anyone with an advanced black belt, sued Grandmaster Kim for $10 million. Nasso alleged that the karate master doomed the movie they had been working on together, DARC," to a "short shelf-life and near-certain financial failure."

Nasso and Kim in happier times. Staten Island Advance/Carol Ann Benanti

Even though Kim had invested $4 million in the film, he was accused of holding up promotional efforts, which had scuttled its chances of being screened at Cannes.

While it’s possible that Kim’s delay hurt the movie’s chances of winning the Palme d'Or, reviews calling DARC “absolutely dreadful” and stating that the lead actor had “the charisma and acting prowess of a pork chop” suggested the awards weren’t going to be pouring in.

MY LITTLE PONIES

On the morning of March 14, 2017, a late-season blizzard descended upon the city, blowing open the doors of an Elingtinville barn. Two ponies, 9-year-old Blondie and 5-year-old Jewels, took off running.

Much to the confusion of locals looking out their windows or shoveling out their cars, the pint-sized equines were seen trotting down a snowy Hylan Boulevard.

I thought I was seeing things,” he said. “They were just running up my block. I looked out the windows and I see these two horses, these two ponies, flying by.

Eventually, with the efforts of some passersby, including an off-duty police officer, the ponies were corralled and brought back to their owner… Julius Nasso.

SIGHTS AND SOUNDS

I made some recordings this week, but unfortunately, due to technical issues, I cannot get them off the recorder. I hope to get it all sorted by next week, the final neighborhood of the year.

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A Staten Island twist on The Elf on the Shelf

FEATURED PHOTOGRAPHER

Here is a series of pictures by Staten Island photographer Percy Loomis Sperr depicting Eltingville’s lumber industry. The photos, taken in 1924, give a sense of how undeveloped the area was and would remain until the construction of the Verzzano Bridge forty years later.

All photos P.L. Sperr courtesy NYPL

ODDS AND END

Scandinavians were no strangers to sea serpents. Ancient Norse poems were full of the exploits of Jörmungandr, the enormous mythological sea serpent who encircled the earth. In 1028 AD, Saint Olaf killed a sea serpent in Valldal, Norway, and threw it against Syltefjellet mountain.

In 1539, Swedish archbishop and cartographer Olaus Magnus blew everyone’s mind by dropping the Carta Marina (“Sea Map”), a highly detailed, 23-square-foot map of the Nordic countries.

The map, which took 12 years to make, was praised for its geographical accuracy and was notable for its depictions of dozens of menacing sea monsters like the Sea Pig, the Sea Orm, and the Prister who had “a long and large round mouth, like a Lamprey, whereby he sucks in his meat or water, and by his weight cast upon the Fore or Hinder-Deck, he sinks and drowns a ship.”

• Comic artist Evan Dorkin moved to Elingtinville when he was 13. For over two decades, he published a series of comics, The Eltingville Club, inspired partly by his time working at a local comic book store and the extreme comic fans he encountered there.

Recipe for a Whisky Skin

1. Rinse a mug or heatproof cup with boiling water to warm it.

2. Add 1 teaspoon of demerara sugar and a swath of thin-cut lemon peel.

3. Add 1 ounce of boiling water and stir to dissolve the sugar.

4. Add 2 ounces of Scotch whisky (such as Macallan or Ardbeg).

5. Finish by adding 1 more ounce of boiling water to bring the heat back up.

Recipe for a Segalmageddon

1. Combine 1.5 ounces of spiced rum, 3 ounces of fruit-flavored vodka, 1.5 ounces of gin, and 1.5 ounces of Everclear alcohol in a large glass or shaker.

2. Add 4–6 ounces of Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt energy drink.

3. Stir well to combine.

4. Serve over ice or as desired.

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• On April 20, 1991, after treating the crew and cast poorly, putting in zero effort to rehearse his parts and refusing to do a "Hans and Franz" sketch because Hanz and Franz had previously said that they could "beat up Steven Seagal,” the actor earned the distinction of being Saturday Night Live’s "worst host ever." Just in case you think this is hyperbole:

• If this whole neighborhood thing doesn’t pan out, I really feel like I could pivot to writing a newslevetter entirely devoted to Steven Seagal. The man, who claims to have secretly trained CIA agents, became a Russian citizen in 2016, and—alongside Sheriff Joe Arpaio—once drove a tank through a man’s house to bust up a nonexistent cockfighting ring (killing a puppy in the process), truly contains multitudes. How many reincarnated lamas do you know who own guitars once played by Muddy Waters, Albert Collins, and B.B. King and recently declared their “willingness to fight and die” for Vladimir Putin?

• One last Seagal video for the super fans.

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